DisasterResponse – Little Did She Know

…She’d See God Move Mountains

This past summer, I was on the verge of quitting my job. Like, walking-away-without-a-plan quitting. My internal gas tank was completely empty.

Let me pause here to say that I really do like my job. I love that God uses the American Red Cross as a medium through which I can love and serve like Jesus. (Want to learn more about what I do in Disaster at the American Red Cross? Check out “Humberto, Imelda and Pre-Landfall Disaster Response.”)

But occasionally I go through one of these “episodes.” I don’t know what else to call them, but I know they are born out of burnout, compassion fatigue, extreme emotional exhaustion and exacerbated chronic illness symptoms. Every time I have experienced one of these episodes, I have prayed and asked God to open a door and move me to another job. A less stressful job. A job more compatible with my chronic illness symptoms. And every time, He has said the same thing.

Stay.

I know He hears my prayers when I have no words, so He has definitely heard every sigh when that’s the answer He gives. Every time I plead my case to Him, the end result is the same: I submit and say, “If this is where You want me to be, I’ll stay as long as You want me here.”

The episode I had this past summer was different. It felt bigger than the others, more desperate. Looking back, I think this episode was also compounded by #spiritualwarfare because what happened when I obeyed and stayed instead of jumping ship has had a huge impact on my faith.

It started when we stood up a disaster relief operation in mid-February for flooding in Southern West Virginia. Not only are operations stressful and demanding, but the impact of knowing others – in this case, West Virginians – were affected, is heartbreaking.

February 2025 flooding in Welch, WV. Photo and story can be found on https://www.wvnews.com/.

I had been to the town of Welch, WV, in June 2024 on a mission trip to assist in cleaning up buildings on the main street that had been damaged from a previous round of flooding. The 2025 flood was a personal hurt for me because I had met some of the people who had moved to Welch and put everything they had into those buildings and starting new businesses and faith-based operations to help the rural community.

It was during the Southern West Virginia disaster operation that my dad was hospitalized for pneumonia and my cat, Miles, had a life-threatening health episode. Did I mention stress exacerbates #IdiopathicHypersomnia symptoms?

On Father’s Day, flash flooding in both Wheeling (Ohio County) and Fairmont (Marion County), WV, led us to stand up a second disaster operation. In Wheeling there were fatalities, adding a different level of complexity to the urgency of providing help on the ground.

Aftermath of the flash flooding in Ohio County, WV, on Father’s Day 2025 that took the lives of 7. Photo and story can be found at https://wvmetronews.com.

Then, on July 4, I woke up to news of the Texas flash flooding that took at least 135 lives, including children attending Camp Mystic.

Through my tears, I had that same conversation with God again, and again I got the same answer.

Stay.

What I did next is what I think Papa God was waiting for me to do all along. I said, “Okay, but I need your help. This job is too hard. My IH is too hard. I can’t do it by myself.”

“By myself.” That was part of the problem. I was trying to do this job God wanted me to do without Him. I had asked God for this job, but I had never invited Him into it. I don’t think when He put me in this job He intended for me to carry it all on my own because He knew it would be a lot. And as soon as those words were out of my mouth – “I need your help” – I now know He immediately rolled up His sleeves and got to work.

I didn’t realize until just a couple of weeks ago what God had been working on for me between July and November. There are three big things in particular – mountains He moved – that stick out to me when I think about how He heard me and He responded. First, I realized He had grown the size of my volunteer team. This is no easy feat. There is a shortage of volunteers, and the work we do on my team can be very complex. He has given me smart, willing, compassionate volunteers to help me carry the load every day, which is helpful to me in my chronic illness and a benefit to the region – and nation – when we need to respond to disaster.

Second, He provided me with the only medication that has had any kind of impact on my Idiopathic Hypersomnia. I needed that wakefulness to be able to train my new team members. I have literally been on every medication, including Xywav, in the last three years, and this is the first time I’ve experienced any level of relief.

Third – and this is the big one – He literally rerouted every hurricane in the 2025 season that was heading for the East Coast.

You read that right.My God moved the Mount Everest of mountains for me. He did what I never even entertained as a possibility when asking for help to get through hurricane season. He made what was expected to be an above average season the opposite.

“…Even the wind and waves obey Him!” (Matthew 8:27, Mark 4:41, Luke 8:25)

There has not been one single hurricane that has made landfall on the East Coast this hurricane season. Yes, Tropical Storm Chantal made landfall, but it wasn’t a hurricane. Yes, Hurricane Erin came close enough to cause beach erosion, strong surf, rip currents and coastal flooding, but it didn’t make landfall. Yes, Hurricane Melissa made landfall, but it was in Jamaica, not the U.S., making it an International Red Cross response. Even Imelda, who appeared to be on track to make landfall on the East Coast near North Carolina on the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Helene, made a sharp right out at sea like the others.

Photo of Imelda path from https://www.accuweather.com.

If you google the reason why most of this year’s hurricanes turned right and stayed out at sea instead of making landfall, you’ll see articles and videos explaining that dips – or troughs – in the jet stream have helped push the tropical systems out to sea and away from the East Coast. If you google why Imelda turned away from North Carolina, you’ll see credit given to Hurricane Humberto and the Fujiwhara effect.

But I know the truth. There was a mountain called Hurricane Season standing in my way, and when I asked God for general help, He got specific about clearing a path.

I can hear you now. “Jenn, you really think God diverted the entire hurricane season for you? Seriously?”

Serious as a Cat 5.

I think God answered a lot of people’s prayers by diverting those storms because a lot of people are tired, and a lot of people still need time to recover from last year.

But I also believe He did it for me. I asked for help, and He heard me and He answered.

Trust me, kid. I’ve got you.

If I had left my job based on my emotions instead of obeying and staying, I would have missed out on seeing God do big things. Faith-changing things. Worship-inspiring things. Every day I listen to “What an Awesome God” by Phil Wickham because it expresses what I feel after seeing what He has done. “Fire in His eyes. Healing in His veins. Everywhere His glory on display. Take a look at the stars. He can name ’em all. Before His throne every knee falls. The demons have to run, the angels have to praise.Even the wind and waves obey.”

I have a confession. My faith in God following through for me has always been weak. Not because I don’t think He can but because I think why would He do for me when there are so many others hurting more than I am. If I had left my job instead of listening to Him, I would not have seen what He is willing to do for me. I would not have seen how truly big my God is. How awesome my God is. It is emboldening and exciting and beautiful to see what He can do. And I understand now when people say that if you trust God, He will work things out in ways that are bigger and better than you can ever imagine.

I literally can’t wait to see what He does next.

Did you know I have a Spotify list for the songs I mention in my blog posts?

Look for Little Did She Know on Spotify and follow along!

Song Recommendation for the Week:

“Don’t Stop Praying” by Matthew West

“What’s your impossible? You’re ‘I need a miracle?’ What’s got you barely hanging by a single thread? …Don’t stop believing ‘cause mountains move with just a little faith. And your Father’s heard every single word you’re saying, so don’t stop praying.”

Hermione’s Rescue Story

Let me introduce you to Hermione, aka Cliffy.

Hermione was a black female kitten dumped at a riverside park outside of Charleston, WV, last fall.

On September 18, 2024, my friend, Tara, texted me a picture of soon-to-be Hermione and said, “Jenn, there is a two-month kitty at the (park). Do you think you could take him in?” Tara had already named the kitten Cliffy, and I would come to find out just how fully invested Tara was in Cliffy’s rescue.

By that point, I had already fostered about 20 cats in the calendar year and about 24 the year before. Fostering had become a full-time volunteer gig because the need for help never stops.

The 21 cats #WeasleyMeowtain fostered in 2024.

I had heard of this kitten. I had seen posts about it on a local Facebook page. This park was about an hour away from where I live and a good 15-20 minutes from my office. I knew how hard this was going to be: trapping in a public area, finding time to get to the park on a regular basis to get the kitten on a feeding schedule before trapping, getting the playful and oblivious-to-danger kitten into the trap. So, that same day Tara texted me, I went to the park to check out the situation and take the kitten some food. Despite my best hopes, the kitten was not socialized and would not come near me. It confirmed my theory that this was going to be a challenge.

With trapping, you really need the cat to be on a feeding schedule. You need the only food to come from you and for it to come at a certain time every day so the cat develops a schedule and understands the food is coming from you. Sometimes you can establish this routine in a few days; sometimes it takes a while. There was no way I was going to be able to go to the park every evening to establish that routine, but thankfully Tara was more than willing to do that part.

More than just the kitten’s skittishness working against us was well-meaning adults who were bringing the kitten cheeseburgers and other tasty human morsels that are 1) bad for the kitten’s tummy and 2) a deterrent for the kitten to eat our food if they are full and if the human food tastes better. Several adults had made mention on the Facebook page that they were going to go try to catch him. People chasing him was also not helpful, and add to that the human food that smells and tastes better than Kitten Chow, and we had an issue.

So, I made a sign. I posted notice at the riverfront area where the kitten was commonly seen frolicking in the weeds on the bank between the river and the parking lot. “Please DO NOT Feed Kitten! Rescue In Progress!” This was also the area where food scraps and empty containers had been left by those well-meaning humans with their greasy leftovers, and I was really hoping they would look up from the kitten in the weeds, read the sign, and respect what we were trying to do.

Yep, that’s Hermione playing in the background while I put out my sign.

I went back several times and set the trap, but the kitten never even went close to it. Yep, I tried all the things, including making a trail of food toward and into the trap and using smelly food like tuna. Kitten was not interested, and I was fading quickly to stress and #IdiopathicHypersomnia. Living so far away made it feel impossible. At work, we were dealing with disaster response for Hurricanes Helene and Milton. At home, I had my own five cats plus a foster litter of five: #TeamHogwarts.

#TeamHogwarts: Draco, Ron, Fred, George and there in the bottom right corner under the pile is Harry Potter.

Tara never let me quit, though. Every time I would try and fail, she would say, “Okay, what do we do next?”

On October 12, I worked late at the office, preparing volunteers to deploy to North Carolina for Helene disaster response. When I left the office, I headed over to the park, ready to set the trap with dinner but afraid it would fail again. I prayed so hard on the car ride over: God, please put that kitten in the trap as only You can.

You see, He had done it for me before. He put Molly Weasley in the trap when we rescued her from the gas station where she was dumped, and He put Rory Gilmore in the trap after multiple failed attempts. He could do it again, I knew it. I needed that kitten to be safe. Halloween was approaching, which isn’t good for a black cat, and the weather would be turning soon.

At the park, I set up the trap and put a small trail of tuna into the trap. I sat on a nearby bench and watched. The kitten showed up right on queue, and it went toward the trap. I had never seen it go toward the trap before. I couldn’t believe it when the kitten sniffed around the trap and then stuck its head in. I remained perfectly still, but inside, I was on the edge of my seat, cheering for it to go all the way in.

Y’all, I’m not even kidding. When that trap slammed shut with the kitten inside, I jumped up on my feet in a cheer and then cried and thanked God. He made it look so easy to trap a cat. If you knew how many times the cat had run from me, hid from the trap, or refused to get near the food I put out or the number of times Tara and her boyfriend had been within arms’ length of the kitten only for the kitten to run way into the weeds, you would understand. That evening in 20 minutes it was done.

At the time, I was on the board of a local rescue. The rescue was aware of the kitten, and it had agreed ahead of time that if I could trap the kitten, they would intake it as one of the rescue’s kittens and I could foster it till adoption. Having a rescue to work with is pivotal because this rescue was willing to cover all vet expenses. I provided the safe space, food, litter, transportation to the vet, and socialization.

I brought the kitten home to #WeasleyMeowtainLodge and quarantined it until it could be treated for fleas and worms and get its first round of vaccines. Turns out the kitten was a she, so I named her Hermione. After about a week of quarantine, she was added to #TeamHogwarts. The boys welcomed her with open paws, and soon it was like she had always been part of the litter.

Cliffy, formerly Hermione, now lives with her mom who never gave up on her and a sibling to keep her company in a home where she’ll never have to worry about cold weather or going hungry again.

Humberto, Imelda and Pre-Landfall Disaster Response

This time last week, I was staring down Hurricane Humberto and the expected impact area of what would become Hurricane Imelda on the NOAA Hurricane Center website. For Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia, it would be summed up best by the catch phrase of my disaster coworker, Todd:

“It’s not great.”

In case you don’t watch the news or the weather, #HurricaneHumberto in the Atlantic is credited with pulling #HurricaneImelda away from the East Coast, preventing landfall that would have impacted multiple states. That’s not to say the Bahamas were not impacted or that those coastal states would not end up seeing impact from the storm by way of coastal flooding and dangerous waves, but it could have been a whole lot worse.

I smile and think of the conversations I had with God late last week about how awesome it would be if He diverted Imelda and prevented loss of life and loss of homes and businesses. So while Humberto gets the credit for derailing a disaster on the East Coast, I know the truth:

#GodDidIt

But answered prayers and miracles and those special conversations with #PapaGod will have to wait because that’s not what I want to share with you right now. What I want to share with you is what it looks like when the American Red Cross’ Disaster Cycle Services line of service prepares for hurricane landfall and pre-landfall deployment. Unfortunately, I think one of the Red Cross’ best kept secrets is Disaster Cycle Services. So, I’m going to let you in on this secret with the hope that word will get out and more people will want to join this diverse band of humanitarians and help those in need alongside of us.

Central Appalachia Region volunteers on an operation in Huntington, WV.

Every morning, Disaster Cycle Services team members from all over the U.S. get on a sync call with our national disaster leadership to discuss potential threats and current humanitarian responses. Early last week, conversations were being held about Hurricane Humberto and what would become Hurricane Imelda. From what I understand, hurricanes can spin up and strengthen very quickly due to the warm temperatures of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s hard to know a week out if and how a disturbance will develop, but Invest 94L – which would become Imelda – had us in full-on preparedness mode.

Note: According to The Weather Channel, “An invest – short for ‘investigation’ – is a naming convention used by the National Hurricane Center (NHC) to identify features they are monitoring for potential future development into a tropical depression or storm.”

This was the type of image that had me worried last week: (Credit: Accuweather on 9/26):

By Thursday of last week, the American Red Cross had five disaster operations standing up ahead of Imelda’s anticipated landfall – Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia – and the Disaster Workforce Engagement Teams in regions all over the U.S. were working on putting trained Red Cross disaster responders on standby for pre-landfall deployment to travel ahead of the storm and prepare for impact.

Rabbit Trail: I am the Disaster Workforce Engagement Manager (DWEM) for Central Appalachia Region (CAR). CAR is compromised of all 55 West Virginia counties and 22 counties in the border states of Kentucky, Ohio, Virginia and Maryland. One of my responsibilities as DWEM is having a national disaster deployment team in place and a deployment plan ready to respond to whatever happens, whenever it might happen.

Pre-landfall deployment is exactly what it sounds like: we send trained disaster responders to the regions where impact is expected by a major storm. We mobilize our workforce before any travel stops are caused by incoming bad weather so we can prep evacuation shelters and get our resources in place. When the preparedness tasks are done, the responders hunker down and wait out the storm. Once the storm passes, the needs of the area are assessed with local community partners, and our Red Cross workforce begins delivering the mission of help and hope.

The work of the Disaster Workforce Engagement/Deployment Team never stops – we are always in a posture of preparedness for response. This is so that if a disaster occurs at any time, we are ready to mobilize disaster responders to impacted communities. With pre-landfall preparedness, we check the availability of all of our trained responders, and if they are able to deploy, we put them on alert or standby.

When the Deployment Team gets the go to mobilize any responders who are on alert, we confirm those responders can leave by the next morning and go over the assignment location and hardship codes with them. Hardship codes are any challenges the volunteer might face on that assignment, like no electricity, no running water, travel difficulties, and no immediate access to health care.

The Deployment Team members provide as much info as we can to our responders so they can make an educated decision about whether the deployment opportunity is right for them. If they agree to go, we instruct them on next steps, like finishing their pre-assignment health questionnaire (responders must be healthy and physically able to deploy) and booking their travel through the Red Cross’ travel agency. In Central Appalachia, every responder who deploys is assigned a deployment buddy. A deployment buddy is someone from the Deployment Team who has experience with deployment and is able to answer questions and give the responder guidance as they travel to the disaster relief operation and while they are deployed for two weeks.

So, what do American Red Cross disaster responders do in disaster-impacted communities when they deploy? To answer that, I want to circle back to the name of our line of service. We are Disaster Cycle Services because there is a cycle to what we do. We prepare (ourselves, our responders and our communities) for disaster, we respond to disaster (“boots on the ground”), and we help clients recover (get to their new normal).

Disaster Fact: A disaster can be a tornado, flood, volcanic eruption, hurricane, earthquake, train derailment, mass casualty incident, or even a man-made disaster.

Our initial goal in disaster response is to make sure people have the essentials: food, water, and a safe place to stay. We call this #MassCare. One of the very first things we do for a disaster operation is set up shelters or support community shelters being opened. We serve meals in our shelters, and we also have our awesome Emergency Response Vehicles – ERVs – that drive around communities and hand out hot meals.

Three ERVs deployed to Kentucky for the 2022 flood.

Under Mass Care, we also do distribution of emergency supplies where we deliver clean-up supplies to communities where the houses can be salvaged, and we offer reunification support to the local communities. Mass Care is just one group of activities the Red Cross performs on a disaster relief operation, but it is the first line of response and arguably the most important.

With Humberto safely out at sea and Imelda changing paths, we were able to stand down the disaster responders we had on standby last week. It was a huge relief that Imelda changed course and pulled away from the East Coast, and the efforts we made last week to respond were in no way wasted. In fact, I believe our preparedness activities last week were a great practice for when the next storm forms. #2025HurricaneSeason doesn’t end till November 30, and there are already two new disturbances in the Atlantic. One has a 10% chance of formation in the next seven days, and the other has a 20% chance.

My point is, we’re far from out of the woods this season. And when hurricane season ends, we will deal with winter storms, followed by spring flooding. Tornado season begins April 1, and then June 1, we’re back to hurricane season again. Meanwhile, wildfire season is no longer confined to a season.

If you take nothing else away from this info, please consider the following:

1) Tell all your friends about what we do in Disaster Cycle Services so everyone knows the Red Cross is more than just blood donations (it’s also training services and services to the Armed Forces!), and

2) Consider becoming a Red Cross volunteer. Even if you can’t deploy nationally, disasters happen at home too, where we also respond to house fires and install free smoke alarms, among other activities. You can visit www.redcross.org for more information.

Special THANK YOU to the Central Appalachia Region Disaster Workforce Engagement/Deployment Team for all their ongoing hard work: Vickie, Brenda, Jerin, Holly, Lori, and Janetta. We couldn’t do this important work without you! #SleevesUpHeartsOpenAllIn

Recommended Song for This Week: “God Did It” by Micah Tyler

“And there’s only One who’s getting all of the credit. God did it.”

Little Did She Know: Origin Story

You ever hit rock bottom and found God there? I did. And He delivered on examples of His faithfulness all on one Sunday morning to the point there was no doubt left in me that He is for me.

April 2025 was a tough month. Our foster kittens, #TeamFrosty, were on month four of a grueling ringworm treatment regimen. At work, we had wrapped up a disaster operation for flooding in Southern West Virginia, and those operations always take a toll. My #idiopathichypersomnia was flaring. My immune-compromised cat, Miles, got very sick.

Then my dad ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. It felt like things all around me were spinning out of control, and I was so defeated.

On Sunday, April 13th, I went to church. During the 30-minute drive, I told God I was broken, and then I proceeded to list off all the ways to prove my point. Looking back, I imagine He smiled and shook His head because He knew what I was going to find at church.

It’s true I always cry during the worship songs, but on this day, I was bawling, that whole-body-shaking kind of cry you never want anyone to see. Every single worship song sung that morning spoke directly to me:

God So Loved (We the Kingdom): “Come all you weary, come all you thirsty, Come to the well that never runs dry. Drink of the water, come and thirst no more.”

Stand in Your Love (Josh Baldwin): “When darkness tries to roll over my bones, When sorrow comes to steal the joy I own, When brokenness and pain is all I know, I won’t be shaken, no, I won’t be shaken. ‘Cause my fear doesn’t stand a chance When I stand in Your love.”

This Is Our God (Phil Wickham): “Remember that fear that took our breath away? Faith so weak that we could barely pray, But He heard every word, every whisper. This is our God, this is who He is, He loves us.”

I Was Made for More (Bethel Music, Josh Baldwin, and Jenn Johnson): “’Cause I wasn’t made to be tending a grave. I was called by name, Born and raised back to life again. I was made for more.”

The words that came to me over and over were: Trust me, kid. I’ve got you.

I sat down and began taking note in my phone of what was happening: Every single worship song is a love letter from Him to me. A DM from His lips to my heart. A not-so-gentle reminder that He is not limited by what I think makes me unworthy and that He is working for me.

The sermon that day, delivered by Pastor Jay, was on the last chapter of Ruth: “Ruth & Redemption.” The sermon’s theme was “Little did they know.”

That’s right – the blog name I had been praying for, asking God to give me, for over a year was handed to me just like that.

The sermon talked about how every person’s story has pain, death, and suffering. About how “We’re written into a greater story, and we’re sent out for the greatest purpose: to love God, to love others, to serve God, and help others know Him.”

About how “God uses broken people to fulfill His plan.”

I’m sure I was sitting there with my mouth wide open. I had just confessed that morning how broken I was, and God gave me reassurance through Jay’s sermon that my brokenness can’t stop Him.

Trust me, kid. I’ve got you.

“We don’t have it together, but we trust our lives to the One who does.”

After the service, I went back to the K-3 room for Sunday School duty, and reminders of God’s faithfulness continued to overwhelm me. I stood there, crying again, reading the month’s memory verse. John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Trust me, kid.

The takeaway for the Sunday school lesson that day was “Whatever happens, remember God is still working.”

I’ve got you.

On April 13, I sought Him, and He didn’t just show up. He delivered reassurance after reassurance to me in a way that left no doubt. I don’t believe in coincidences. I do believe God moves us to do certain things, like pick those worship songs or write that sermon with specific words, because someone needs to hear the message a certain way.

God laid on my heart over a year ago to do this blog, and I have dragged my feet. Maybe it’s an exercise in obedience; maybe He wants me to get my creative juices flowing again for the next big adventure. I think, though, He wants me to do this blog because like I needed those worship songs and those sermon words that morning, someone out there needs to see examples of how faithful and loving our God is.

Thank you to Jay Teodoro for letting me borrow “Little Did She Know” for this blog. You can hear his sermon on Ruth & Redemption here.

Someone Out There Needs This

It’s been a tough couple of months. As a cat rescuer/foster, I got my hardest litter (to date) on December 12. I named Jack Frost that night because I thought he was going to die. One of the many times I got up that night to make sure he was still breathing, I sat outside the crate where he and his two sisters were quarantined and cried and prayed. I begged God to please not let him die, to please not do that to me. It was a selfish prayer, but I was honest with Him: I told Him my heart just could not take that.

Jack Frost survived the night, but our journey into getting him well was only just beginning. The week of Christmas, he took a turn for the worse. I spent the week transporting him from vet care in the day to emergency vet hospital monitoring at night. That Friday, another foster and I got up early and drove him from Charleston, WV, to Columbus, Ohio. It was thought he had congestive heart failure, and we needed an echocardiogram. There wasn’t anyone in West Virginia who could both do the echo and read the results right away; it would take a week for results. I didn’t know if we had a week.

Jack Frost in the emergency hospital on 12/24. Jack coming home from Columbus on 12/27.

In Columbus, we learned Jack’s pneumonia was clearing up and his heart was fine. We had a great win – an answer to prayer – and then the next battle began: ringworm treatment. Did you know that treating ringworm in cats is at best a six-week plan? In our house, it impacted five kittens and revolved around two quarantine rooms, daily cleanings, lots of laundry, medicated baths and wipes, and a crazy oral medication schedule because all five kittens needed a different dose starting on different days. It’s no surprise my my chronic illness – IH – picked right then to flare up.

IH or Idiopathic Hypersomnia is a neurological disorder similar to Narcolepsy that has no cause, no cure and for me no treatments that ease symptoms.

I asked myself – and God – many times why me. The answer I always got was that there’s a purpose. I have no idea what the purpose is. Maybe it’s showing that even with IH I can still dig in and do important things. Maybe it’s giving me knowledge for animal care that will be necessary at a future time. Maybe those kittens need to get healthy because they are meant to go to a home where a family really, really needs loving pets. Or maybe it was so I would focus my eyes more on Jesus and less on everything else.

I am the disaster workforce engagement manager for American Red Cross – Central Appalachia Region.

I’ve been going through a “season” probably since Hurricane Helene hit in late September. I work in disaster response with the American Red Cross. The aftermath – and our response – took a major toll on me. I was working long hours, trying to do my part to meet the needs of help and hope for those impacted. I had foster kittens at home that needed to be adopted, which is the most stressful part of fostering for me. Our October vacation was almost derailed because Priceline is terrible. The holidays came out of nowhere, and then the sick kittens arrived. I had gone off my antidepressants and found in the midst of my misery that I did, in fact, need therapeutic drugs (and that’s okay). I feel like I can’t ever catch my breath. With IH, I only have so much I can give every day, and I have to choose what will have to wait – or never get done – versus what must be done no matter how I feel. And there is so much guilt and worthlessness that goes with that. It has felt like a continuous downpour of chaos.

But what I have found is that at my rock bottom these last several weeks, I have looked to God more. I have stopped and noticed the beautiful sunset and thanked Him. I have paid attention when I have seen encouraging memes or songs that randomly play on the car radio that seem to speak directly to me. That’s not a coincidence. That’s a God nod. There was one meme I saw a recently on Facebook – and have seen several times since – that says something along the lines of “God, don’t just let me endure through this difficult time. Don’t just get me through it. Use this to grow me, to refine me like gold in the fire.” If I’m going to go through this, I want to gain from it, and I want to gain what will help me serve Papa God better. I’m exhausted, but He gives me strength. He drives me to continue doing good, despite the IH flair up and the ringworm that seems like it will never go away.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because God has put on my heart to share it. There is someone somewhere out there who needs to read this. Someone who needs a friend who is also walking through the storm and trying to learn to trust Jesus and needs to see they aren’t the only one struggling.

Maybe there’s someone out there trying to be a humanitarian – whether with people or animals – and is discouraged. People are hard to love. Animals are hard to understand. But our purpose remains. And maybe that someone needs some encouragement to continuing fighting the good fight. Or needs some tips on how to treat ringworm in a litter of kittens from someone who has now struggled through it for seven weeks.

Maybe there’s someone out there dealing with a chronic illness and they need to hear that yeah, it sucks, but we can’t give up living. We have an invisible illness that people discount or criticize, and it hurts. We have to fight harder for every accomplishment. Maybe they need to know someone understands – someone sees them.

So here I am, kicking off this blog – the blog God has had on my heart for better part of a year that I have continued to drag my feet with launching – because even though things are hard in my world right now, God is for me. And He’s for you. And sometimes He puts a meme or a song or a blog post in front of us to give us peace, to give us knowledge, and to show us we aren’t alone in our struggles. If that’s you – if you’re the one intended to see this post – I’m Jenn. Let’s be friends. We can fight and overcome the challenges of this life and our chronic illnesses and the struggles of humanitarianism together.